I have been feeling completely overwhelmed lately with the task that is before me. I feel like my brain is in overdrive trying to come up with ideas and plans on how to draw students in so that I might have an opportunity to build relationships and share the gospel with them. Hot topic discussions? Bible discussions? Community service groups? Social gatherings? Offering free food in some form? The list could go on and on but there is one problem here. I am not trusting God. Don’t get me wrong, a list like this one is great and strategy is a much needed thing but the last couple of days I felt the Lord telling me that you are planning all of these things and are trying different ideas but you are not letting me lead, you are scrambling, grasping at straws. I was getting stressed out and discouraged because I was putting my best laid plans forth and not God’s. I was also feeling pressure because what if my plans don’t work and nothing I do builds relationships with students? What if I fail?
The last couple of days I have felt the stress and tension building and I just kept praying in my head: “I need more of you and less of me.” The stress and discouragement was shining through in my thoughts and attitude and I knew that it was bubbling over into all that I was doing. NOT a good thing! So this morning I decided that I was going to spend some extra, dedicated time with God. Not to seek answers on how to have the best agenda to win students but to get back to basics and fix this “me” problem that I was having.
Let me tell you that God is faithful! Every time that I have gotten wound up about what I need to be doing here He reminds me that it is not MY plans or job or task but HIS. I am currently studying Matthew and I am at the part in Matthew 8 where a few ask to follow Jesus and He tells them He has no where to lay His head (i.e. the task may be hard) and that we are to just follow Him and let the dead bury the dead (i.e. the time is NOW to follow, not after we take care of our business). Directly after these statements His disciples follow Him into the boat to cross the sea. This is the part where the storm comes and the disciples get scared and Jesus just sleeps in the boat until they wake him terrified saying: “Save us, Lord; we are perishing! He said to them, ‘Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?’ Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and it became perfectly calm. The men were amazed, and said, ‘What kind of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?”
I have to say that I completely identify with the disciples here. The storm is more in my head than on the sea surrounding me but it sure feels like I am on a stormy sea at times. However, the study guide that I am using added some great insight. Jesus’ response was “Why are you afraid…?” In other words He just told them that things might be tough but remember who you are following. Who is it that you signed up with? In the previous verse Jesus calls Himself the Son of Man. A term taken out of Daniel 7:13-14 and so I decided to flip there to get a better idea what this term meant. This is the glorious nugget of truth that brought me to tears:
“I kept looking in the night visions,
And behold, with the clouds of heaven
One like a Son of Man was coming,
And He came up to the Ancient of Days
And was presented before Him.
And to Him was given dominion,
Glory and a kingdom,
That all the peoples, nations and men of every language
Might serve Him.
His dominion is an everlasting dominion
Which will not pass away;
And His Kingdom is one
Which will not be destroyed.”
This is the Son of Man! This is the one that I am following. I need to remember who I am following! It’s not my kingdom, it’s not in my power, it’s not my plans but His. He has the kingdom that will not pass away and the plans that will bring all peoples to Him. Praise the Lord! He told me to relax, have faith and remember who you are following. It is the man who rebukes the winds and the sea to bring perfect calm. It is the man who only asks us to follow; not lead, not to figure it out yourselves, not to come up with the one “it” thing that will draw students in, but to follow. It is the man who leads us to everlasting life and life abundantly. The God who desires the hearts of people more than I ever could. Remember who I am following and where He leads. He doesn’t tell us to go and see if you can make it work. He says follow me, follow the Son of Man!
“Come to Me, all who are wary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.
